There comes a point in your life when if you haven't attained the
society "norms", then you are viewed almost as a second class citizen.
Both my sibling and I have somewhat "let the side down" as far as society is concerned because we're in our thirties and we haven't popped out a sprog or two. We
both got married (my sibling stayed that way - me, not so much!). I did things the wrong way round in getting married first as the younger sibling, but I also took the heat from getting divorced.
It
would, I expect, be considered terribly uncouth of me to pop out a sprog now I'm
not married - and perhaps it would be deemed "not the done thing",
especially as I had my chance at marriage and it ended in a divorce that
should put me off men for life! Yet despite having done the "grown up"
things of buying a house and getting married, these were not deemed
good enough to be treated like a adult by some people.
Now, don't get
me wrong, there is a big difference between being an adult and being a
"grown up". The intention of my friends and I is to avoid being a grown
up for as long as humanly possible - and the term "responsible adult"
strikes fear into our thirty-something hearts.
Anyway, I digress (just for a change!).
So,
having passed the big three-zero a couple of years ago Mother Nature's
(& society's) big old countdown clock is ticking loud and clear.
So, as far as society's concerned, I have two options. I can either
hurry the hell up and find a suitable mate to breed with (for suitable,
see "has a job, isn't a satanist; axe murder or mormon, and has active sperm) - OR,
become a mad cat lady.
Let's examine those two
options. Whilst having kids is something that was/is on my to do list, I
am also aware that I didn't have kids in my marriage because a)we had a house and a car, and as everyone knows, those
two things (especially in combination) cost lots of pennies and b)the relationship, whilst completely amicable,
wasn't right for bringing kids into the world. I figured that there are enough kids in the world whose parents are
separated - I didn't want to risk bringing a child into the world when
our relationship was only "good enough" as far at the outside world
looking in was concerned. And what started off as a fairly amicable separation turned into a horrendous divorce. So thank crunchie good enough wasn't good
enough for me to decide to have children with him.
The second option is to become a
mad cat lady. Some of my friends would
tell you that I'm slightly cracked already - so that takes care of the
mad bit. And cat lady: well, I like cats - sadly I had to leave my two
awesome cats on the other side of the world. So now I'd worry that
any subsequent cats wouldn't live up to their awesomeness! But,
however, I seem to be a good judge of cat character (though sadly not
rabbits or men's characters!) so when I get my own place that could be a
possibility. But no creepy-eyed Siamese cats, or those big fluff ball
cats (Burmese?) that remind me of the cat in that Bond film and always have filthy tempers.
On reflection, being a mad cat lady is the most appealing of the two options at the moment!
Am
I being too demanding (given that I'm a female, over thirty, and it's
my "duty" to procreate) to want to be attracted to a man intellectually as
well as physically? To be able to have a conversation at two in the
morning about who would win a face-off between Care Bears and Cabbage Patch Kids, or whether bullying would be less prevalent if mindfulness
was taught in schools? To want someone that I can have mind-blowing sex
with but will make me a hot water bottle and buy me chocolate when I
have P.M.T?
Or, should I be looking into the possibility
of settling down with the ok-looking bloke that doesn't have B.O. or any
criminal convictions that deigned to pass the time of day with me at
the bus stop? Should I be grateful that he even noticed an old
has-been/never was like me?
The thing that always gets
me is when you look around you and the crazy guy/ugly as sin
woman/complete douche bag in your town has somehow managed to hook up
with the love of their life/someone that is either the complete
antithesis to them/someone so far out of their league their phone calls
cost £5.00 per minute? Whilst surfing the net I found a quote from a
blog called Bridget Jones has nothing on me that I think sums my feelings about this up quite nicely:
"How
does someone as weird as she is have a fiance when I can’t get a normal
date to save my life? There’s only one possible explanation: I was
kidnapped by aliens at some point in my life and they’ve done something
to me that repels normal men."
So, to sum up
- is good enough, good enough? Hell no, I want my Prince Charming to
have a sarcastic sense of humour, know my favourite confectionery like
the back of his hand (weird expression - who spends any amount of time
looking at the back of their own hand?), is my intellectual equal, be
great in bed, and turn up on a Harley (or an Audi TT if it's raining).
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